Posts filed under ‘Sad’
In the province of Che-chiang, south of Chu-chou on the Divine Continent of Aparagodovaniya, stood a mountain 10,032 feet tall, and on it was a tip exactly 365 hands long and twenty-four cubits in circumference, so as to mimic the divine perfection of the 365 solar days and the 24 seasonal terms that the world was divided into. It was known as Lan-k’o Shan, the Rotted Axe Handle Mountain. And in the village at the foot of the great mountains dwelled a boy who was curious, and in his curiosity he would go to every adult he could find and ask them every question he could find.
And if the grass grows during the Jingzhe, when insects wake, why does it
Sleep in winter, when man still walks? Does it tire as a man or a lion tires?
Does it eat as a man eats? If man harvests the rice and the grain to feed
Himself, does the grass harvest man to feed himself and his children both?
For when man returns to the soil, does it not feed the grass as the man once-
And as the young curious boy spoke, the adults would flee at the very sound of his presence. They had wood to chop and rice to harvest, and their work was always beguiled by his idle speech and incessant questions. When the boy watched them would sometimes even follow them to their woods where they harvested lumber and to their rice paddies.
Finally, the boy did find an older man, a man who had the years of wizened service to himself and his village. The boy entered the man’ser hut and sat down.
He had mottled and leathery skin that looked as a rug from the West
And yet it had seen years of use;
a cobra who had forgotten to shed his skin
and be reborn.
His skin was old, but kept in good health;
an ancient bauble from the Celestial Court passed
down, but kept in a reliquary so as to preserve it.
The young boy asked the man many questions until the man smiled and answered them all, one by one. And then the young boy asked the old man about what the name of the mountain meant; why it was Lan-k’o Mountain (Axe-handle mountain). The man stared at the young boy for a long time before he told him.
I had a friend who was annoying as hell and really got on my nerves but happened to be hot. Anyway, mutual dislike matured into mutual attraction and i developed a huge crush on her. Anyway my friends were telling me to stay away because outwardly she seemed like a fucking nightmare and they knew we didnt get on. Anyway i ignored them and an awkward yet exciting argument at a works party later we got together. It was amazing. Mutual hatred turned out to be mutual awkward sexual attraction neither of us wanted to accept. But once our lips touched it all made sense.
A few blissful months later she was diagnosed with leukemia and i was distraught. The love of my life was on the precipice of oblivion with only myself as the single thread of hope.
By an incredible coincidence i had the same blood type and so my marrow was a match to hers so i was able to donate my marrow to save her life.
I had an audition at a movie studio. I showed up at one of the entrances to sign in. There were numerous people in the small room I was in. A lady walked toward the exit door to leave. She went out of the door. As she left, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her take a few stutter steps. I turned toward her, she stuttered a little more, and then she fell face first into the concrete sidewalk without sticking her arms out to brace herself from the fall or anything. A pool of blood started forming on the concrete underneath her face. I looked around, and no one else had noticed that she fell. I notified the guards that were there. They looked at her bleeding on the ground, motionless, and said they weren’t allowed to help her for “liability reasons”. I said “WHAT!?” I went down toward her and turned her over. Her face was broken and a mask of blood from the impact of the fall upon the concrete. I looked at her, and remember thinking to God “Okay, God, if this is the moment you’re going to pick to give me aids or some disease cuz I’m going to try to help this woman, then fuck you. You’re an asshole.” and I immediately started giving her mouth-to-mouth CPR – her blood all over her mouth and nose and everything.
When I was 6, my dad died. When I was a teenager, my mom died. I went to live with my grandmother, and a few months later, she died. I was left homeless and alone. Somehow, to this day I still don’t know how, I managed to get through high school. I lived in a Pinto and a box my last year. This was in a small town, back in the day. No idea why no one ever tried to “intervene”.
Anyway, I was lucky, because I was smart. Somehow, God’s grace, I don’t know, I managed to get into a very good school. I went.
Because no one ever bothered to tell me I didn’t have to pay my mom’s debts, I did. I worked at multiple jobs throughout my college days. No social life, just school and work. By the end of it, I was exhausted. I paid off her debts. In retrospect, they weren’t that much. Just a few thousand dollars. But back then….I remember someone at the hospital where she’d died telling me it wasn’t a charity hospital. I was a minor! If I’d known any better, I would’ve realized I didn’t owe anyone anything. But no one bothered.
It has been a rough year darling. The ethereal power of Craigslist will get this message to you I am sure, like in some sort of cheesy 80s movie.
Well back to the last year, you of course died at the beginning of it which put things to a sour start. I spent last night with your mum and dad, we went to that Italian place in Wicker Park, who on the surface seem to be coping. I had everyone get together for my 25th which went well, your ladies are on top form and I think some engagements are brewing. Ellen is turning up the heat on Steve who will soon be forced down to one knee as you predicted.
Last weekend I finally took the step of cleaning out your clothes from the closet, which is very barren now. I invited your friends over to take your what they liked, it was an awkward session. I think they took them more as a favor to me than anything else. Liz cried when we pulled out all of your shoes, Miranda joined in and then Catherine broke down. It was strange to stand in our bedroom surrounded by three crying girls. I made a joke about them crying for joy at the prospect of some free Manolo Balhniks which they didn’t seem to find very funny.
August 28th, 1988 – December 4th, 2008
I first took notice of you in Chemistry, 11th grade. You were the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. I was the luckiest kid in the world when we were chosen to be lab partners by the teacher. I was pretty nervous though, you being captain of the Volleyball team and all I did was sit on the bench on the varsity basketball team and play video games.
However, we wasted no time in getting to know each other. We both loved the same movies, music, we had an almost identical view on life, except for religion. We became best friends. After only two weeks of meeting you, I knew I was in love.
We spent every day together. We went to prom together. I remember everyone saying “Them two are going to get married one day”. We were both infatuated with love; but terrified. When we graduated, you were going to college in Virginia, but it was still amazing.